He said, she said: Is it OK to go 'KKB' on a date?

One of the questions that inevitably pops up when going out these days is, “Who pays?”

Unlike the old days,  guys aren’t necessarily expected to pay for everything now.

The idea of the “Dutch treat” or “KKB” (kanya-kanyang bayad), is standard for friends going out.

What the girls think
However, when two friends of different genders go out, going Dutch can lead to some uncomfortable situations.

Travel writer Suzy says, “Whoever asks for the date pays for it, but if you've been seeing each other awhile and it's comfortable, you should be able to go Dutch.”

Another view is offered by web developer Olivia. “I'm fine with the idea of the dude paying for dinner on the first date. It was his idea and I merely deigned to grace his life with a few hours of my time. On succeeding dates though, I would find it very, very strange if he continued to pay for my food or movie ticket or whatever. It just doesn't feel right.”

Thus, she’s an advocate of going Dutch whenever possible.

What a guy thinks
From a guy’s perspective, analyst VJ agrees that each person should pay for his or her own meal.

If he goes out with a girl, it’s okay to go Dutch if they’re just friends.

If they’re already in a relationship, however, he wouldn’t allow going Dutch if they’ve only been together for a short period of time.

“If we've been together for a long time and she understands I'm trying to save cash, then it’s alright for separate payment,” he explains.

Echoing VJ’s mention of limited budgets, Suzy believes that people in a relationship can go Dutch, “when you both don't have money but want to go out.”

‘Ako na’
There is something to be said too for awareness of how the other person would react if you offer to pay for their meal.

Says Olivia: “If he knows that the girl is the kind of girl who expects that sort of thing then yes, he should offer to pay.”

She adds that if the guy is really bent on paying for the meal, then he shouldn’t offer. He should simply say, “Ako na.”

The reason guys pay for a girl’s dinner
VJ offers his insight on how some guys’ minds work when they offer to pay for a girl’s meal.

“Especially if the girl is hot and though you might just be friends, there's still a possibility there might be something more,” he shares.

It’s not necessarily an ulterior motive but more of increasing one’s future options.

After all, what if there really is something worth exploring in the future?

Rules of thumb
Offering to go Dutch or KKB can be a bit of a slippery slope since there’s a risk of being viewed in a negative light, particularly for men. Nobody wants to be seen as a cheapskate, and that’s part of the guy’s dilemma.

However, if both parties have already reached a level of comfort between them (either platonically or romantically), then it shouldn’t be that big of an issue.

Therefore, KKB is a definite no-no on a first date, but as time goes on, it becomes less of a problem.